Today is not my lucky day and I was mean. I was awaken by the sound of my alarm clock at 3:15 a.m. GMT +8. I didn't prepared to go to mass yet, instead, I slept until quarter to 5 am. Then when I got up, I fed my baby and went to my laptop. At %:15 a.m., I started preparing, arrived at the church at 5:31 a.m. LATE! Ugh. Mass is at 5:30 am and I was just a minute late when I arrived it was Gloria! Ukk.
I went on with my day. After the mass, I asked my friend, Zandra, if where she's headed after. She told me she has a dance practice. WOW. I certainly want to join. I asked a permission and everything. While waiting for the reply, I watched them practice at the youth office. I was really happy being inside the office after more than a year of not being able to go there. But unfortunately I have to head home because of my husband text that texting is not the right way to ask permission and baby is crying.
I went home with some altar servers and was really emotional and sad. I felt so unfair. My husband can leave anytime he wants, but I, NO! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED. When we came to a decision that we are about to go, I called my friends and they told me that they are done practicing. I was sadder. I think I was gonna burst! What's worst? When I received the text that I can't join them since I am not considered youth anymore. What?? I am not even considered as guest? Wow. That got me more frustrated. Should I be angry with my group or with the church I belong to? Can't I even be considered as a guest to dance? I admit I want to be a part of the group again, but I didn't say that yet when I was asking for permission, I was only asking if I can dance. Why does the visitors they invite are welcome, and me, their previous member, NOT WELCOME. :(
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